Friday, February 22, 2008

Chess in 2373

I was channel surfing today and happened to catch an amusing episode of Star Trek: Voyager. The episode was Season 3, Episode 14, “Alter Ego” which according to the Timeline of Star Trek happens in the year 2373.

ENSIGN KIM: That’s Kal-toh isn’t it? Vulcan chess?
LIEUTENANT TUVOK: Kal-toh is to chess as chess is to tic-tac-toe.

LIEUTENANT TUVOK: A common error among novice players. By placing the t'han on opposite sides of the kal-toh, you are attempting to introduce a spatial balance, a strategy that will almost certainly fail.
LIEUTENANT TUVOK: Kal-toh is not about striving for balance. It is about finding the seeds of order, even in the midst of profound chaos. May I?
MARAYNA: Please...How beautiful.
LIEUTENANT TUVOK: Kal-toh is not about beauty.
MARAYNA: I understand, but it’s still beautiful.

Closing shot: Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Tuvok starting a rousing game of kal-toh. A bikini-clad Hawaiian beauty (a hologram) walks up and asks, “May I join you?” In unison, the two male chessplayers say, “NO!”

So the Vulcans will help us take chess to more sophisticated, nerdier, misogynistic, and stereotypical places than any man has gone before.


chessloser said...

i was gonna make a comment about the logical vulcan mind and chess, then i was gonna some comment about biggie is the one who shot tuvok over chess (tupac joke), but they both sounded like lame comments, so i just wrote this explaining it all...

Chessaholic said...

That's hilarious!

ChargingKing said...

So we are going back to matches now?! The old bait and switch ; )

Hopefully I make it, but I think the round robin format is completely solid.